Beginning the process

Yesterday my co-worker had another miserable day at work. He finished his day, went home and took his own life.

The thing is, I barely knew him, and while I've told myself that this is mostly because I'm the new girl in town, deep down I know we never would've been friends. The only thing I know about my late co-worker, is that he'd been on the job for almost 20 years, and that his true passion was horses.

So here I am faced once again with the question of what it is exactly that I want to do with my life. No, I don't mean what do I want to be when I grown up, but rather what do I really want out of life. Sometimes I've been so focused on a destination, a goal, that I forget to look at and enjoy at all the craziness that is happening along the way.

If I can trust my earliest memories, some of the happiest moments of my childhood consisted of sitting in my backyard gobbling up juicy, delicious mangos from our trees. No worries about time, appearance, poverty or wealth; we simply enjoyed the experience.

And so what's my purpose in writing this here, in this format? I don't really know. I suppose I want some sort of record as I attempt to re-learn the art of taking joy in the little things.

The day I die, I want people to be able to talk about me as more than just my job description and 1 or 2 things tha I loved to do. I want people to say "oh yes, that RipeMango sure had an obsession with mangos! But you know, she was also a bit of crazy dog-lady, and a boy was she a flaming liberal! Did I ever tell you about the time she..." and I want everyone to burst out into roaring laughter when that story is finished.